Grasshopper Hill

Welcome to the farm. 

Before we get started, take a weekend tour in this video.

"At some point we need a name," I tell Craig. "How about Grasshopper Hill?" he asks. This is in reference to the 4 million (conservative estimate) hopping inhabitants native to our 11 acres.  "It certainly fits, but I'd like something that doesn't reference the current plague." He is pensive. "What can we do with them?" he asks me. "Find something that eats them and get a few hundred of those." "No, I mean, how can we make money off of them? Cover them in chocolate?" I laugh. "Who is going to eat them?" He is earnest. "People eat them," he assures me. "Name one American you know who eats grasshoppers," I challenge. Silence. If I'm wrong and you, Reader, want the leggy delicacies, by all means, let me know. I can hook you up.

Let's start with the sunrise over the eastern boundary of the property. I imagine looking out from my porch and seeing this each morning as I wander around in my raggedy bathrobe and hair rollers. It's a beautiful image. This was taken a few weeks ago because, in reality, we never made it to the land before 8:30 AM. The first day I didn't make it until 11:45 AM. (I needed to buy a hat.) I've got to work on my farmer's hours because it's a darn sight easier to work when it isn't 100 degrees outside. 

Here's Junior, surveying our chore on the third day of playing rock picker upper. We were both darn sick of rocks by this point. Pa can't mow the area with all of the rocks some Helpful Harry pushed into the drainage ditches. So, we dig and lift and haul. He's looking at those rocks and counting down the days until he leaves for college. He will be an old farmhand by the time this year is over.

If you're looking to strengthen and tone your upper body, I might suggest the pickax workout. It's a great way to shape up those arms, back, and shoulders - if you don't die first. This was primarily my job. I'm typing with my toes now.

If there's money to be made in rocks and grasshoppers, we will never go hungry again.

This giant spider haven bore many large stones but thankfully no snakes. My job was to bang on the rocks to scare away wildlife and to swing a pickax wildly at spiders as large as my hand, carrying golf ball size egg sacs on their bodies. (A moment to have the willies.)

The moment when boy triumphs over rock. It's a man thing.

What are we doing with it all? This is the eastern fence line. Craig estimates we will have a 3 foot rock fence along the 450 foot boundary by the end of the cleanup. That makes me tired. So far we have about 1 foot of rock boundary about 150 feet long.

In all of this digging, we did find the heart of Texas. It's a rock.

I'm particularly proud of this area because it was a rock bed when we arrived in the morning, and I dug them up and left this pretty green strip. If you are not impressed, do not tell me, because I will be devastated.

And the rocky bed that had Sawyer contemplating a new family? Now looks like this. We only have about 10.75 acres left to clear. Seriously, it's time to hire the men.  

And so we are. We have contracted some of this labor to kick start the process of getting the land shaped and graded to our satisfaction. The first thing to go is this tree line. It cuts the property in half as it was an old fence line. It's funny to me how the contractors seem surprised when I say I want every tree on the property removed. Every one. All of them. Nope, not one is to be left. Why? Because they are thorny, scrub trees that grow on fence lines and my vision has oaks and pecan trees with a fruit orchard in the back. Ma will plant her own trees, the ones she wants, right where she wants them. Thank you very much. I look at this tree line and see mulch. And so it will be.

This week a contractor will come with a big ol' trackhoe and rip them out by their root bundle, shake them like their momma doesn't love them, and throw them down for us.  He is also going to grade and shape the land. Then Craig gets to rent that big chipper shredder that makes him happy and we will make mulch.

We are having this T-Rex footprint sculpted into a beautiful pond so hopefully, it will begin to fill a bit better as more of the runoff will drain into it. The person we are hiring is a bit of an artist when it comes to shaping the land, he speaks of it like a poet. He may have also been drunk the first time we met him, but poets are often drunk so we're okay with that.

He will also scrape off the cactus which is another bumper crop we grow. Once the land is shaped and cleared, we will return for more rock picking upping. We are preparing the land to be good farmland. Next month the property will be plowed and planted with rye and oats. This helps with our agricultural exemption (boring boring tax talk).  I can't wait to see it after it's shaped to please me. I'll be sure to show you. In the meantime...